1
One part of the quarantine would now be over. Since I had been provisionally announced here by the Ministry, some idle people, who are wont to take upon themselves the care for the general interest in this respect, had occupied themselves with depicting the procession in which I would enter this sister-city of "holy Cologne". It had been agreed that I would (admittedly apart from piety) resemble St. Christopher, appear with a terrible Spanish cane, drag it like a sword on the pavement, and step before each of the holy gentlemen here with the words: here I am!
2
The impression of my simplicity and unpretentiousness worked so favourably on Augusti that he was completely won over for me. Nitzsch, since he saw a quite different Bauer step before him than he had supposed, could only ask me whether I would also preach, and after I had denied it, he enumerated to me as gently as possible and as it were — apologetically the formalities which I have to fulfil here for the purpose of my habilitation. I must deliver a Latin lecture before the Faculty and undergo a colloquium, i.e., an examination — the day after tomorrow, in the dwelling of the Dean Nitzsch this farce takes place, and then I have to deliver a public habilitation address before the students. I had expected nothing else, so I could only remark that it was no question that I would submit to all laws and customs. With Sack and Bleek the conversation would not really get going. After I had had to exert myself for a long time with Bleek to keep the conversation away from that critical point where it falls into the arms of sleep, I stood up several times to take my leave; but he always held me back again, as if something were still missing; finally, after several attempts, he brought forth what weighed on his heart: it was the question: whether I would also in future adopt so harsh and abrupt a stance towards my theological co-workers, whether I would still treat men like Neander and Julius Müller so ruthlessly later on; were that the case, he would have to declare all community between us impossible with his colleagues; were it not the case, I could count with certainty on a collegial relationship with the Faculty. Since I could speak from full conviction, I had already gained thereby that I answered in all tranquillity of soul: I had indeed developed in opposition during the 51 years that I have taught at the University in Berlin, but I had now myself recognised it as an imperfection if one always goes about with the feeling and consciousness of opposition; of this imperfection I was so convinced that I even now felt vividly the disadvantage which arises from such a stance for the purity and roundedness of language and writing, and that I had precisely for this reason stepped out of my previous sphere of life in order to collect myself quietly within myself and to work out the principle — be it well understood: the principle to which I profess myself — all the more clearly and securely for myself. Since nothing other than this decisiveness for the philosophical principle had been expected of me, peace was concluded.
3
The same scene was performed at Sack's.
4
I would thus have achieved what Altenstein wished to see achieved before he could dare to come forward openly for me, and what in Berlin was held to be almost impossible: the Faculty has declared that it at least does not wish to behave hostilely towards me. And yet I am merely delivered up to their caprice! Nitzsch recognises no other relation to his person than unconditional submission, and even if he knows nothing of my works except the beginning and end of a couple of reviews in the Berlin Yearbooks, he now knows from my simple and calm demeanour that submission on my part is impossible. The Faculty knows that Altenstein is for me and would gladly give me a secure position, but from the manner in which I am delivered over to it, it can easily enough infer that I in fact stand alone and that it can proceed against me at its pleasure.
5
My situation is in the highest degree precarious: but works exist in order to forget what cannot be changed: I have found a quite pleasant lodging here, with a wide view, at the market-place No. 171 at the merchant Eschbaum's, and immediately on the morning after my arrival I resumed work on the Hegel papers.